Packing this morning for my 1400 (2PM) flight to L.A.  No more running to to do until Sunday!  In fact, 48 hours from right now I'm hopefully more than 10 miles into the race already.

This week has gone pretty quickly - all things considered - and I think I'm as ready as I'm going to be.  I feel like I've done a decent job on my nutrition and hydration this week.  Tapered well.  Maybe could have stretched a little more but I can still do that in the next 48 hours.

Watching the Race

I don't know what kind of coverage they have for L.A. but I do know that if you're really interested in tracking my progress they have text message tracking.  Click this link to sign up for it.

http://www.doitsports.com/results/MSG-signup.tcl?sub_event_id=381

My bib number is 20958.

Last Second Race Strategy

One thing I'm doing this year is I'm easing back on my Spiz usage.  Whereas in previous races I'd take Spiz before the race and sip it throughout, this year I'm hoping not to take it until at least the midway point.  I've been wondering if maybe the Spiz has somehow been impeding my water uptake.  So this race, more Gatorade and electrolytes and less (and later) Spiz.

I've been training that way this spring and so far it seems to be working out o.k.

O.K., back to packing.  I'll post at least one update from L.A.

-B-

When last we left our hero he was telling you how he's managed to reengineer his body in the last year or so.  It's not complicated: Diet and Exercise.

Exercise

If you're going to burn more calories than you consume part of that equation is burning more calories.  There are a couple of things you can do to facilitate that.

1. Actual exercise itself.  Running, biking, swimming (hmmm...sounds like a triathlon), working out at the gym...
2. Guerilla exercise.  Stuff that doesn't really seem like exercise, but it is.  Taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work.  Deliberately parking further from the store so you have to walk the extra 30 yards across the parking lot, carrying a bag of books just for the weight of it...
3. Increasing your metabolism so that you burn more calories even when you're not exercising.

Actual Exercise

We all know this one.  It's when you lace up your shoes and head out to spend 45 minutes running 3.5 miles around your neighborhood.  You can wave at your neighbors (right, life changers!) avoid the angry dog at the corner, see what other folks are doing with their landscaping and maybe pick up a stray piece of litter and deposit it in a nearby trash can.  All this one takes is a pair of good running shoes and the will to get out and do it.  Yes, walking counts too.

If you're lucky you have access to a pool.  If you're REALLY lucky you have access to an ocean.  Swimming is a good, low-impact, way to work a lot of muscles and get some cardio in too.  I've heard some question about how much actual fat loss comes out of swimming, but no doubt you burn calories and build good muscle tone.

Biking is a good exercise, but not as effective as running or swimming I suggest.  It DOES have the advantage of being a good way to really work the big muscles in the legs, which are great furnaces for burning calories.  And cyclists have firm sexy thighs and calves.  Did I mention I'm a cyclist?

Off to the gym.  There are as many different kinds of workouts as there are gyms.  You can lift weights, do spin class, yoga, work out on the machines, do the elliptical trainer...you could do a different workout every day for a year and not do the same thing twice.  If you're looking to lose fat you need to make sure your heart rate gets up and you need to add a little lean muscle mass to stoke your metabolism.

Cardio is great, but if you're already biking, swimming or running it's probably not as important.  I never do cardio at my gym for a couple of reasons:

1. I get lots of cardio in my daily life with running and biking.  There's a decent chance that I ran or biked to get TO the gym.  I want to maximize my gym time for weight lifting.
2. Spending 40 minutes grinding away at the same cardio machine while Al Roker tells me what the weather is going to be like in Duluth seems like the 4th ring of hell to me.

Two tips regarding exercise...

1. Find something you enjoy doing.  If you like running, great.  Tennis?  Basketball?  Yoga?  Frisbee in the park with your dog?  Dancing?  Lifting a beer to your lips is not exercise. (but lifting a beer to somebody else's lips might be - depends)
2. Do it consistently.  Exercise once a week is o.k., but if you really want the benefits you need to do it more like 3-5 times per week, at least.

Guerilla Exercise

This is stuff you can do throughout your regular day just to get a little unconventional exercise and burn a few extra calories.

The thing about calories...

We've all seen those TV commercials that breathlessly advertise that if you take their pill or rub on their cream or drink their drink or give your dog a cookie...(wait, I think Marshall snuck that one in)...that you can {GASP} BURN CALORIES WHILE YOU SLEEP!   WOW!  But wait...

...you already burn calories while you sleep.  Every time one of your muscles contracts the energy that powers that contraction burns calories.  What muscles are you contacting while you sleep?  How about your heart?  Just breathing in and out burns calories.  Folks, if you're NOT burning any calories while you sleep then your weight problems are already over.

So how do we burn more of them...

Increase your metabolism by adding lean muscle mass.  More muscle requires more calories to maintain.  You don't have to turn into a huge muscle man...just add a pound or two of lean muscle where it looks good.  You'll look fabulous, dahling.

You can also find ways to burn more calories in your regular day.

• Yesterday I was at a client's office and I had to go out of the building to get something.  I walked right past the elevators and took the stairs down.  From the 16th floor.  It's not that hard to walk down 16 flights of stairs.  It didn't take that long.  But I burned a bunch more calories than I would have burned by getting in an elevator and listening to "The Girl from Ipanema" with 3 strangers.  I took the elevator back up.  I'm not stupid.
• I often park in a parking garage that is 4-5 floors high.  I usually take the stairs down to the ground instead of the elevators.  See above.
• I had to walk from a client's office to my office.  3 blocks.  My hands were empty so I grabbed a large book off a shelf and carried that to my office.  And back.  I didn't have to make a spectacle about it, just having the slightly-heavy book in my hands as I walked burned a few extra calories (and worked my arm muscles) for very little effort on my part.
• Stand up occasionally.  Just standing burns more calories than sitting.
• A friend of mine works in an building where her company owns the whole building (whole campus, actually).  She makes a point of using the restroom on a different floor from her own and taking the stairs.  So a couple of times a day she has to walk, climb stairs and descend stairs when she might not have otherwise.  It's not a big deal but it burns a few more calories.
• Park a little further from the store and walk it.
• Take the hand basket at the grocery store instead of the cart.  Unless you're planning to buy 100 pounds of groceries.

What other ideas can you think of?

Ooh, have to get into my day.  More soon...

I'm officially anxious.  I wish the race was today.  This curious downtime before the race is the worst...idle feet are the Devil's skateboard (or something like that).  My brain has nothing else to do so it thinks about stuff it shouldn't think about.  One more bowl of rice, one more low-cal sports drink, one more stretching session, one more taper run where I can't let myself run fast or far.

Is it L.A. yet?  At least today I get to pack.

What I Learned On My Morning Run Today

I can't run away from my problems but where I am at the end of the run still feels like a better place.  I have to believe that running is going to take me to a better life.  The time I spend running is sometimes painful and agonizing (mentally and emotionally as well as physically) but I almost always finish a run feeling a little clearer and knowing that I'm a little better for having done the run.

Three years ago I wouldn't have dreamed that I would ever say this but...I'm a runner.

I Have to Admit...

For some reason I sort of feel like I have something to prove this weekend.  I'm not sure why - just feels like where I am in my life right now.  It's nagging at me a little and I'm really anxious to turn in a good performance on Sunday.  I feel like I need that validation.

Questions and Acknowledgements

• Maureen is being an awesome support team already.  I even mention something and by the next day she has found a place that has it and suggested three times we could go and do that.  She's even mapped the course so we can drive it the day before.  THANK YOU!
• RR: Yes, I think I have my race plan basically in place.  I've read some interesting articles written by folks who've run it before (Thanks M!) and talked to a couple of friends who did it last year.  I'll see what the course looks like on Saturday but I think I'm pretty well set.
• JR: No, I don't get to hit In-and-Out Burger on Friday night. :-)  But you'd better believe I will on Sunday! (And Monday)  (And Tuesday if I can)
• LD: A L.A. Marathon t-shirt in extra-small?  Can do.  I didn't realize there were that many Chinese restaurants in Maine. ;-)
• Lynette and Sarah:  Thanks so much for the kind words.  I'll try to make you proud.
• To the dozens(?) of people who've asked: A marathon is 26.2 miles.  Yeah, that's a long way.
• CH: Come out and do Honolulu Marathon with us this December.  Yes, really.
• BC: Thanks for the ideas on the early miles.  I don't usually race with my heart-rate strap on but maybe I should this time.

-B-

Today I got asked, again, if I've lost weight and, more importantly HOW.  So I figured maybe I should blog it....

The Magic Formula

This will be a little controversial but I'm going to say it anyhow - for most people the secret to losing fat is to burn more calories than you consume.  Period.  That means eating smarter and exercising more.

Now I'll grant that it's easier for some people than others.  Not everybody has the same metabolism.  I'll even grant that a few people have a special medical condition that makes it very, very difficult for them to lose fat.  A very few people.  How few?  Look around at 10 people you know.  If you can't spot the one of them that has this condition...then you just don't know enough people because you almost certainly don't have it either.

Healthy weight loss takes some patience.  You're not going to drop 40 pounds in a week without surgery or an industrial accident.  Or both.

Diet

I'm not a guy who gets caught up in the "No Carb" "All Cabbage" or other such fad diets.  My diet is simple and old-fashioned.

• I try to eat less fat and fewer calories. 
• I try to eat healthier foods.  I eat less red meat (notice I didn't say "no read meat"), more fruits and vegetables and less sugar.
• I let myself splurge occasionally.  If I really want that piece of pizza, it's fine.  By letting myself have it once in a while I find that I don't need it very often and I don't feel guilty if I have a piece (or two) of pizza once in a while.
• I try to eat more, smaller, meals rather than starving myself all day and then gorging on a single huge meal.
• I pay attention to what I drink.  A lot of calories sneak into your diet thru a straw.  Coke and Pepsi is a BIG calorie sink.  That 32oz Coke from the fast food place has HUNDREDS of calories in it.  Just the can of Coke has about 150 calories and a LOT of sugar.  Have iced tea instead.  Have water.  If you really need a soda, have a diet soda.  32 ounces of DIET coke is only a calorie or 5.  Not 500+. 
• Be careful of fruit juice.  I like Cranberry juice and I used to think "Hey, it's healthy!  It's fruit juice!'  Well, that's sort of true, but be careful.  A lot of fruit juices have a lot of calories in them.  I used to drink a LOT of fruit juice and then I realized I was probably getting close to 800 calories a day just in fruit juice.  Better than getting them from french fries, true, but still....

Let Yourself Slip

I'm going to restate the third point above.  A lot of people get themselves on these really strict diets.  But then, being human, they have something they weren't "supposed" to eat and go into a bad spiral.  They beat themselves up, they feel bad, they may even figure "Heck, I've blown it, I might as well give up on the diet!"   Let yourself have something you REALLY want once in a while.  One bag of M&Ms isn't going to kill you once in a while.  If you're having it every HOUR that might be a problem. :)

Watch Out For Stress

A common reaction to stress is to eat and it's usually not to eat celery.  Yesterday I had a pretty awful day and while I was out I was STRONGLY tempted to step into Baskin Robbins for some ice cream.  But I thought about it and I realized that the 10 minutes that I'd spend enjoying that ice cream wasn't going to feel as good as the months (or years!) I could enjoy being in good shape.  It feels GREAT to catch a cute receptionist checking me out.  It feels GREAT to have to use a belt to keep my jeans up.  It feels GREAT to have pretty secretaries smile at me and tell me I look great (which actually happened about an hour ago).

That doesn't invalidate my previous point.  If I really NEEDED the ice cream I'd have had some.  But I didn't need it and I decided that I'd rather drown my sorrows in having great abs instead.

Next post...exercise...

Things are heating up as the big day approaches!  I am in full taper mode now.  I'm running every day, but nothing longer than 3-4 miles and always very easy.  Last night I did my short course and it was all I could to do hold back - I felt strong and fast and found myself pressing a little too hard a few times.  I had to keep backing off.

I've been playing with my stride a bit on these runs - adjusting my hips, reaching a bit, picking up my knees...mostly just for a little variety and to keep loose.

Questions and Acknowledgements

• JW - Yes, I've decided what I'm going to wear for L.A.  You'll have to wait for the photos OF COURSE. :)  I'll give you a hint; I've never worn this shirt in a race before.  I think BC just figured out what it is.

-B-

Well, today I completed the last task on the list.  Marshall took me for a lovely walk around Keone'ula Elementary School.  And it's been nice to hear from those of you who've been working on this challenge as well!  Some of you are VERY close to finished.

Meet the Neighbors

I had already met my neighbor Gerrard but I had never met his wife or daughter before, so the other day as I was backing into my garage I saw his wife standing in their garage.  I decided to step over and introduce myself.  Her name is Janine and their daughter (who was there too) is Sherry.  It was very nice to meet them!

The Home Stretch

If you haven't finished yet, you have one week left.  Just as a reminder...

1. Say hi to a neighbor you haven't met or haven't spoken to in a while.

2. Sell something.  Garage sale, eBay, Craigslist, whatever.  Or donated it to Goodwill.

3. Try a neighborhood restaurant.  Someplace you haven't eaten before.  Not a chain.

4. Walk around the school.  Take a stroll around a neighborhood school.

5. Make room for new books by finding at least 3 books you could give to friends or an organization.  A VA hospital would be a nice place to donate if you can't think of anyplace else.

The March list is waiting...I'll post it next weekend.

-B-

I don't really watch a lot of TV.  I DVR a few things like Mythbusters and House but otherwise I don't tend to watch that much TV these days.  Today I'm working at home, doing some writing, playing with my dog and watching some of the programs that I've DVR'd.  A few thoughts...

The Biggest Loser

This is the only reality show I can really watch because I love the objective.  They've got a crowd of overfat contestants and they help them in a HEALTHY way, through carefully supervised fitness and nutrition to lose fat and get healthy.

There is a little bit of the "Survivor-esque" game play, especially this season, but there are also a lot of really and genuine emotion.  I'm at least a little bit of a tough-guy and I have to admit that I got choked up watching Trent and Roger break down talking about how important it is to them to lose the weight so that they could be there for their wives.  Roger showed a wedding picture and said it was the heaviest he'd ever been.  "On my damned wedding day!"  And then he tearfully pointed out how beautiful his wife is in the picture.  I'll be damned if I didn't wipe a way a tear on that one.

Celebrity Apprentice

I'm not watching the show but I see the previews and I have a question:  Are there any celebrities on it?

Moment of Truth

I thought TV hit a new low when we were watching people marry strangers for money.  This one is even worse in my opinion.  It appears to me that this show is all about humiliating people on national TV.  And it's not the contestants who are being humiliated...it's their family and friends.  Anybody see the preview where the woman is asked if she would leave her husband if her ex-boyfriend asked her to come back.  She said yes.  And the cameras immediately zoomed in on her husband.  Do you think their marriage will ever be the same?  Hope she won and the money was worth it.

House

One of my favorite shows.  Hugh Laurie is one of the best actors on TV and he has a great supporting cast.

Time to turn off the TV and take my dog for a walk in the sunshine.

-B-

O.K., L.A. is a week from Sunday and last night I did my last long run before the race.

I did the Kapi'olani Park, around Diamond Head, thru Waikiki and out to downtown and back course that I've grown fond of - it's right around 14 miles total.  I was a little sore from the very beginning; after all I did 8.15 miles at a racing pace on Monday, a not-casual 13 mile bike ride Tuesday evening, a steady 5.5 mile run on Wednesday evening...so no great surprise I'd be a touch sore/tired on Thursday.  Today is DEFINITELY a recovery day - no strenuous exercise for me today.

Racing a Ghost

At various points on this run I had the opportunity to cut the run a little short -- make a turn and chop off a block or three -- but I didn't.  In fact at least twice I deliberately ran an extra block or two.  Why?  When I'm debating those decisions these days I think about my competition.  There are two possibilities:

1. He's out there working hard and getting better.  In which case I have to work hard too, or I'll fall behind.

2. He's cutting his run short, or taking the day off.  In which case I have the opportunity to gain on him by working hard while he's slacking!

Looking Ahead to the House of the Mouse

In August I'll be doing the Disneyland Half-Marathon again.  One thing I've noticed during these 14-mile runs is that on each of the last two of them...my half-marathon (13.1 miles) time would have been a new PR for me (by a long way, actually) had that workout been an actual race.  That's sort of a surprise because I'm not out there racing; I'm just cruising a marathon-pace workout.  If I can run a 2:30 over 13.1 in my cruising evening workout makes me think that 2:25 or so is not at all out of the question when I get to Disney and that would be a SIGNIFICANT new PR for me.

Quote of the Day (Out of Topic):  (Courtesy of my mom)

"Love is patient, love is kind, and sometimes love leaves you in a quivering heap by the side of the road."
       -Garrison Keillor-

Thanks Mom.

-B-

So last month I introduced you to "Barb" whose boyfriend never seems to want to do anything that makes her happy.  My advice to Barb was that her boyfriend, I'll call him "Joe" (I have no idea what his real name is so maybe that's actually it) doesn't seem to care for her very much.  A real man who actually loves you is going to want to do things that make you happy, even if they aren't normally things he would do.

Well yesterday I was chatting with Barb again.  Joe it turns out is an enlisted guy in the military.  I'm not that surprised, it seems like most of the attractive young women like Barb in Hawaii are dating military enlisted guys.  So Joe has volunteered to go to Iraq for some months or even a year.  The conversation with Barb went like this:

Barb (a little glumly): "So he volunteered to go on deployment to Iraq."
Me: "Ah.  Did he talk that over with you first?"
Barb (just stares at me for a moment, then says): "Oh.  Well, no."
Me: "Hmm.  So he doesn't really care how you feel about it, then?"
Barb (Coming to a sad realization): "No, well, he cares how I feel about it.  I guess. I mean he told me about it last night."
Me: "Telling you about it and asking you about it aren't the same thing.  He didn't think he should talk with you before he volunteered to be away from you for months on end?"
Barb: "I guess not."
Me: "Oh.  I'm sorry dear."

Now let me be clear here.  I'm not suggesting that Joe needed permission to do it.  Barb is not his mother or even his wife.  But she IS his girlfriend and they are supposedly in a long-term, committed relationship.  She is SUPPOSED to be his partner and as such what affects him, affects her.  He should have at least discussed it with her before he volunteered to do it.  He might still have volunteered to go, but at least he would have shown that he cares what she thinks and feels and she could have had a chance to understand his thoughts and feelings on the matter.

It would be one thing if he was being sent as part of his job.  I've a little bit of experience with that, Dana was deployed to Iraq while we were dating last year.  But she didn't have a choice, it was her job to go.  She didn't volunteer to get sent to Iraq, they told her she was going.  So she packed her bags, went to Iraq and did her job.  Joe, on the other hand, is choosing to go.  He volunteered.  My point has nothing to do with the situation in Iraq -- though there is probably a valid point to be made that not only is he going far away but he's also putting himself in harm's way without discussing it with her -- if he had volunteered to go to Baltimore for 10 months without talking to her I'd have the same problem.

The Point Is This: Joe made a significant decision that will seriously impact his life AND Barb's life and he made that decision without even discussing it with Barb first.  That says to me that he never really considered how she was going to feel about it and that doesn't seem like much of a partnership to me.

Sorry Barb.  Joe may be a good guy and a good soldier and I do appreciate his service to our country.  But he demonstrates time and time again that he hasn't got much respect or concern for your feelings. You deserve better.

-B-

Well, this is my final week of training before L.A. Marathon (next week is a taper week) and honestly this won't be that hard a week either.  The hard stuff is mostly behind me.  As you know (unless you're new here and haven't read back) I did the Great Aloha Run on Monday and Tuesday night I did a nice 13 mile recovery bike ride.

Wednesday I met up with my team for a run in the Kaimuki area and Thursday night I'll probably set out for a long run on my own (14 miles or so) - my last long run before the big race.

Quote of the Day: "It's harder to get to the start line than it is to get to the finish."

Faster Than a Speeding Ticket

So I decided to get on the bike for a modest recovery ride Tuesday night.  I wasn't really sore but didn't want to press too hard and wanted to get out and do SOMETHING.  So I opted for a 13 mile course around Ewa.  I was up on the north end of Kapolei Parkway and I noticed that the speed limit on that stretch is 25MPH.  I glanced down at my GPS and saw that I was turning a bit over 22MPH so I pushed it and got up over 25MPH.  Just felt like speeding. :)

After I turned onto Renton Road I slid in behind a BMW sedan and drafted off him for about half a mile, before he turned off.  Then I went up and got in behind a Jaguar (only the best!) and drafted him for a bit.  I didn't mean to press but I felt good and so for the rest of the ride I kept it dialed up around 20.

If You Can't Stand the Heat...

I was a little concerned that L.A. Marathon starts at 8:15 in the morning.  I don't like sun and heat when I run and the prospect of still being out on the course, in Los Angeles (it's a desert, you know) at high noon wasn't very exciting.

You can imagine my relief when I looked at the weather stats and saw that the temps there currently are in the 50s and 60s and that the average temp for March 2nd is around 60.  That's very manageable for me.

-B-

Couple of late comments on the Great Aloha Run.

Movin' On Up

Brian pointed out tonight how well our group did against the "masses" in the Great Aloha Run on Monday.  Nearly all of us were above average in our times.  Some our group were in the top 5% or even top 2% (not to mention Beth who finished in 2nd place in her entire age division!).  I finished in the top 30% which, in the Men 35-39 age division (which is a tough division) is not too bad.

A few of our runners were actually doing their first race EVER.  Lazar had never run 8 consecutive miles in her LIFE so she was thrilled to finish and feel good.

Alan struggled a bit, but he's just recovering from a chest cold so that's understandable.

Recovery Run

Tonight we got together for our recovery run - intended to be an easy 45-minute jaunt through the neighborhood.  I met up with the team for stretching and announcements, but then set off on my own for the actual run.

• Richard and Annie - thanks for your concern.  I'm o.k., just felt like being alone tonight.

I ended up doing about an hour - an easy 5 miles or so mostly on the marathon course.  Felt fine.

Comments

• When I first arrived tonight Kelly greeted me.  She hadn't seen me since the wrap up of marathon training and she started at me incredulously.  "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR STOMACH?  WHERE DID IT GO?!"  "It's at the cleaners." I quipped.  I've actually only lost maybe 8 or 10 pounds since I saw her last, but apparently it's noticeable.  I was flattered anyhow, it was sweet of her to say so and she got a nice hug as a reward.  Or was that a reward for me?  :)
• Billie was talking about her race experience.  Then she gestured to me and said "You just ZOOMED right by me.  You were flying!"  I did pass her around mile 6 and was feeling pretty good.  For the record Billie is usually faster than me, she must've been having an off day.

Tomorrow night: planning to do 14 miles or so.  Last long run before L.A.

-B-

One thing you might notice is that I'm increasingly trying to put links in my blog posts.  I've realized that I sometimes mention books, places or other products that you might want to know more about so I've started trying to add more useful links so that you can get more info (or even buy the product or book if you want) to the posts.

From now on if you click a product or book link in one of my posts it'll take you to Amazon.com where you can find out more about (and even purchase if you want to) that item. 

Amazon isn't selling places yet so I can't help ya there.

-B-

O.K., so I've been talking a bit lately about Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo's book "He's Just Not That Into You."  Great book; I think they should issue it to every woman on her 12th birthday.  That said the book is not without its shortcomings. (hey, even "The Old Man and the Sea" isn't perfect)

Does Such a Guy Exist?

The hypothetical man that Behrendt is describing in the book is fairly idealized.  There actually ARE guys who are too scared to call you or who are still somewhat damaged by a past relationship or don't have the self-confidence to just ask you out if they like you.  I suppose the argument though is...do you really want a guy like that?  The tough part is being willing to pass on guys who are merely "o.k." in hopes that a great, confident, well-adjusted guy comes along and thinks you're amazing.

Better Than Nothing?

It's not easy to just walk away from a relationship that isn't great but isn't terrible either.  In the book they even raise the question themselves: is it really better to be alone and hold out for that perfect person than to be in a relationship with somebody who is "o.k."  Maybe you have some laughs, some good sex, you like the same foods, but you just don't think that person is "the one" you want to share the rest of your life with.  Should you really break up with them just because they're not perfect?

Greg's argument is that by staying in the "o.k." relationship you're letting people go by who might be perfect.  What if you miss out on Mr. or Ms. Right because you're treading water with Mr. or Ms. Right Now?

Still...it can be awfully lonely cooking for one and trying to find friends to go to movies with while you wait and wait and wait for that right person to enter your life.  And then there's...

The Numbers Game

In the book Liz raises the question most of us don't want to think about...are there really ENOUGH of those really great people out there for everybody who wants one to have one?  There are no guarantees in life and what if you hold out, waiting for your perfect mate, and just never find him or her?  Once or twice a month maybe I meet a woman I find very attractive, intelligent, interesting, charming...and almost always she's already got a ring on her finger or a boyfriend.  Sometimes it feels like I waited until the day before prom and all of the best girls have already got dates.

Hard to Accept

And finally it can be really difficult to accept that somebody you like just isn't that into you.  It's even worse when you have to accept that somebody you LOVE just isn't that into you.  It's agonizing and demoralizing to realize that even though you love him or her and are prepared to offer them everything, that he or she just isn't attracted to you.  The temptation is to feel like if you just stick around, be patient, do your best, lose a few pounds, change your hair, that maybe someday he or she will come around and realize how great you are and want to be with you.  But the reality is...that's probably not going to happen.  In the meantime you're just going to make yourself miserable getting rejected time and time again while other people, who might actually be into you, pass you by.

I know it's not easy, anybody who really knows me knows all too well that I'm an expert on this specific issue, but you have to find a way to move on.  (And if you find that way to move on please tell me where it is!)  He or she is just not that into you.

Yeah, I know it hurts.

Despite these questions I still think it's a great book and have already given a couple of copies away to friends.

-B-

So...it's the 19th of the month.  Just 10 days left in February to cross off that list (Yes, it's a leap year).  I'm encouraged by those of you who have written to me to update me on your progress, share your experiences and ideas and suggest future Life Changers.  How about the rest of you?

Since last I wrote I have crossed off #3 (Try a Neighborhood Restaurant).  Last week I walked over to "Fiesta's Mexican Grill" and had some soft tacos and a quesadilla.  I sampled three different kinds of soft taco (two kinds of chicken, one beef) on corn tortillas and they were pretty good.  The beef was a little on the spicy side for my tastes and I prefer flour tortillas myself but they were good.  The quesadilla was DELICIOUS - one of the best I've had in Hawaii. 

So...the only item I have left is taking a walk around the school.  And I plan to do that today.

-B-

O.K., Great Aloha Run 2008 is now in the books.  Let's tell the tale...

The Expo

To start with I never blogged the GAR (Great Aloha Run) Health and Fitness Expo that I helped out with on Saturday.  GAR has one of the biggest and most extensive Expos of any race I've done - AND for the most part it's on-topic.  While Honolulu Marathon has a disappointing half-conference center of booths about half of which are selling local crafts or tours to the Japanese, the GAR Health and Fitness Expo is bursting at the doors with largely (though not quite exclusively) on-topic booths.  Most of the major running shoe companies are there, the fitness stores are there, there are running clubs, nutritional supplements, pilates equipment, lots of shirts and socks and caps, chiropractors...basically everything you can think of relating to health and fitness.

Oddly Missing: There were almost no other races represented there.  Most of the expos there are booths from other marathons and events there to recruit.  At this one the only other race I saw was that a running club had some fliers for the Maui Marathon in September, but those were just off to the side of their table.

BC Endurance Training est dans la maison:  Brian had his usual booth at the Expo to help recruit new folks to the training.  This year we had a booth on the corner which did mean high traffic - but somehow it felt like that traffic mostly passed us by without stopping enough.  I was there on Saturday with Jill, Brett, Pat, Beth, Sandy, Brian (of course), Candace, Billie, Cathy and a cast of thousands!  Our job was to get people to sign up on the clipboards for a chance to win a free training with Brian.  Though it seemed to go slowly Brian said that by the end of the weekend he got over 400 folks to sign up - definitely a success!

Expo Moments

• The snack bar at the Blaisdell had a surprisingly good vegetarian penne with marinara sauce.  Though Patricia gave me flack for choosing a non-meat meal it looked, and was, quite good.
• Chelsea Clinton came walking thru the expo while we were there.  Yes, really.  She's taller than I thought she'd be.  Almost as tall as the phalanx of cops and security guys surrounding her.
• Amy...remember what I said.  And thanks for the delicious hot chocolate.
• CG: I'm going to get you a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You."  Honestly, you're way too good a woman to be stuck in such a dubious relationship.  There are a LOT of guys who would be thrilled to make you happy if you gave them a chance.
• Some guy in a black shirt kept walking back and forth past our booth for the better part of a couple of hours.  I guess he could have just been fascinated with the booths on our aisle...but Joe and I suspected he was mostly fascinated with Beth.  Can't really blame him for that. :-)

The Morning

Went to bed at a reasonable hour last night and got up a few minutes before the alarm fired at 0400.  I had laid out my gear the night before so it was easy to get it together and get dressed.  Decided to bring my Garmin 305 watch even though I was pretty sure the GPS wouldn't work very well under the viaduct (and nearly 3 miles of this run is under the viaduct).

Grabbed an Enviga and hit the road.  Music selection for the ride to the stadium was Maroon 5 and I predict there will be a song lyrics blog entry from that fairly imminently.

Once I got to the stadium, I parked fairly easily, made my way to the shuttle buses and who should I encounter in line....Vern and Alan!  We chatted on the bus on the way over to town, then Vern and I went over to the Pacific Club to wait for Brian and the rest of the team while Alan made his way down to the start.

In fits and starts over the next 40 minutes the team trickled in.  Shawne, Jill, Tai, Joe, Alvis...the whole gang, probably about 35 of us in all.  We circled up for stretching, then took an easy jog down to the starting area to await the gun.

Funny Introductions:  Brian went around the circle introducing guests and welcoming back team members who had been away for trips or illnesses or such.  When he got to Jill he introduced her as "Ben's friend Jill is back from a hiatus."  That drew a lot of chuckles from the crowd.  (Jill IS my friend, but she's also my ex-wife)

Bad Seeds

One of the persistent problems the Great Aloha Run has is that although folks are seeded by predicted finishing time and given colored bibs to indicate their seeds...there is no respect or enforcement of the seeding.   That means that folks with strollers and folks who ARE strollers tend to line themselves up right behind the starting line.

Now I have no problem at all with folks walking this race.  There are 20,000 participants and honestly I wish there were 100,000.  But the folks who are just out for a nice stroll and a t-shirt should line themselves up towards the back....not at the front.  And they are SUPPOSED TO.  The race materials specifically say that the folks with pink and green bibs are supposed to line up BEHIND the yellow bibbed folks.  But every year those of us who are wearing yellow bibs (indicating we are runners aiming for a fast time) find ourselves spending the first couple of miles picking our way around walkers and strollers which is very aggravating, to be honest.  Can't tell you how many times I've had to slow down, wait for an opening, then try to dart between two walkers (often wearing huge backpacks, floppy hats and flip-flops) who are pink tagged folks who lined up right behind the start line for some reason.  One pair of teenaged girls were slowly walking side-by-side and sharing the earphones of an MP3 player.

It's exacerbated by the fact that so many of them choose to walk 4 and 5 abreast making it very difficult to get around them without having to push your way through them.  O.K., enough venting....

Plan Your Race and Race Your Plan

As always I had a specific race plan for today.  I was going to try and run 11s for the first two miles to get warm and loose and then 9:30s the rest of the way.  My previous PR (set last time I raced this) was 1:24:58 and though I would have been happy just to beat that, in my heart I thought I might have a sub-1:20 in me.  5 minutes doesn't sound like that much...but in an 8.15 mile race that means taking more than 30-seconds per mile off.

So, the big cannon goes off and I'm pleased to have Jill (yes, that Jill) alongside me for the start.  She's always fun company.  We're off and running...well, o.k., not quite yet.  The crowd is elbow to elbow and for the first 12 minutes we're walking in a thick herd towards the start line.  One thing they did this year which may have been an intentional bit of traffic management was that they had us queue up on one side of the road (about 4 lanes wide) but after we crossed the start line they opened up both sides of Nimitz Highway to the runners.  The effect was that as soon as you crossed the start line it opened up quite quickly.  By throttling the participants before the start line they allowed for a faster take-off after the start.

Aside from the aforementioned issues with dealing with too many walkers this worked pretty well I thought.

I did bring my MP3 player along and in keeping with my habit I let Sammy Haggar and the rest of the boys rock "Right Here, Right Now" LIVE for me during the run.  Great music to run to and it really helped.  Before L.A. I need to add some more tunes and reorganize a bit, though.  I only have about half a dozen songs on there right now I guess and by the third time through it starts to get a little repetitious. 

A glance at my Garmin about half a mile in found that in fact we were doing 10:30s - a little ahead of pace but that's o.k.  In fact in retrospect it was probably good - that faster pace helped us separate a little quicker from the walkers/strollers so that by mile 3 or so we were basically running with other runners.  I'll keep that in mind for next year.

Into the viaduct we were coming up on mile 3 and I still hadn't seen a mile marker - luckily I know the course and my Garmin confirmed that in fact we were passing mile 3 even though there wasn't any other indication of that.

The day was warm and humid, despite the shade of the viaduct, so I did opt to grab a quick cup of water from the first aid station.  I sipped from it as I ran and dumped the rest over my shoulders and pressed on.  Around this time I lost track of Jill - didn't know if she was ahead of me or behind, though I guessed behind because I felt fairly fast at that point.

I hooked up with Pat coming out of the aid station and he and I ran together for the next couple of miles.  As I suspected the Garmin struggled under the viaduct, sometimes telling me we were running 13:30s when I knew we were in the low 9s and sometimes telling me we were in the low 8s...which we might have been on occasion but probably weren't.  At least the stopwatch part was still working and that's all I really needed.  After Mile 4 the mile markers were clearly posted and I could work from those.  I knew by mile 5 I was 2.5 minutes ahead of pace.

At the second aid station I grabbed another cup of water - I knew we'd be emerging from the viaduct momentarily and that it might get hot.  Since I was ahead of pace I knew I could spare the few seconds to grab the cup and the slight slow-down to sip as I ran.  (I ran right past the third and final aid station a couple miles later since I knew I was only 10 minutes or so from the finish at that point)

Miles 6 and 7 are a little hilly and I was sort of frustrated climbing them.  It's not a tough hill, but I could almost taste the glory of a new PR and having to dial back on the hills was agonizing.  I wanted to GO...not pace.  But pace I did.  "Right effort!" I repeated to myself in my head as I cruised up the hills with shortened strides but even energy.  I could sense the seconds ticking away but consoled myself with the knowledge that I was ahead and feeling strong.

Cresting the hill in mile 7 I could see the stadium and knew I had about 3/4 of a mile to go.  With no more uphills in my way I started to press.  Into the stadium parking lot and around the stadium - a little faster with each passing tenth. 

At one point I came up behind a female soldier who was struggling and had stopped to walk.  "Just 200 more meters" I said to her with a reassuring hand to her shoulder "let's go get it."  She smiled at me, obviously tired, and started to run again.  Slowly and a little painfully, but running.

I left her behind and continued to press.  Got to my marker (it's an overhang where the parking attendants stand) which is my cue to kick.  So I did, turning into the tunnel and down into the stadium I was running as fast as I could, and passing people with ease.  Out onto the field and hit the finish line...

How did I do?  See for yourself.

So much for that old PR.  :)  I uploaded the data from my Garmin to my computer.  The race went almost EXACTLY according to plan and my last mile I ran an 8:02.  In fact with the exception of dealing with the hills in the last mile or two I got faster almost every mile.  Exactly according to plan.

Most importantly I felt great during the race.  Strong the whole way.  I could easily have done a few more miles at that pace.  Really gave me some encouragement for L.A. Marathon (now just 13 days away).

Wrap-Up and Acknowledgements

So I'm very pleased with how the race went.  Somehow it doesn't feel entirely complete, but overall I'm very satisfied and moving forward.

• Thanks to BC as always.  I've said it many times - the fact that he can get this old linebacker to run and do endurance races is a miracle and a tribute to his coaching abilities.
• Thanks to Jill, the world's best ex-wife, for offering me her Garmin when mine said (at mile 2) that it had low batteries and threatened to die before the end of the race.  You rock!
• Patricia did her best Miss Cleo impression this morning - she predicted within a minute my finishing time before the race even started!  Still waiting for tomorrow's Lotto numbers, P.
• A hearty "You go girl!" to Beth, Cindy and Tai, all of whom beat their goals today.  Especially to Beth who took second in her age division!
• Add an "Attaboy" to Pat who beat his goal today too.
• Mahalo to Sarah, who unfortunately was sick and couldn't run today, for providing logistical assistance and being a great support.  It's always heartwarming to see you, dear, and I hope you're feeling better soon!
• Nice to see you, Cappi, hope you had a great race out there!
• Big mahalo to Mark who wasn't running today but who was alongside the course ringing a cowbell around mile 5.5.  Thanks for your endless support!  Where was Kendra?
• I wish Jack-in-the-Box drive-thru order takers would get off the script for a minute.  It's frustrating to try and place your order only to have them keep interrupting you.  And then they get your order wrong because they didn't hear you say "No sauce" (twice) because they were too busy asking what kind of fries.
• It was wonderful to see my old running buddy Ellen Humphrey still out there doing it.  AND...still winning her age division at the age of 81.  She's a real inspiration.  Don't be fooled into thinking that she's hobbling along on a walker - she's 81 and she's a RUNNER.  She ran a 1:39 today; won her age division by over 20 minutes!
• Nice to meet Lazar's husband and kids at the finish area.
• Thanks to all of the friends who sent pre- and post-race text messages and e-mails of encouragement and congratulations.  As always, you guys rock!  I just hope I made you proud.
• Post-Race Music: Sting.

O.K., so that's enough of that.  On to L.A....  :-)

-B-

I noticed that Great Aloha Run stopped asking what your occupation is on the entry form.  Used to be that they'd report the race results not just by age group but also by occupation - so you knew who the fastest Weatherman is for instance.

Well they only had a certain selection of jobs to choose from and the ONLY computer related occupation they had was "Computer Programmer."  I do a little programming but I really don't consider myself a "Computer Programmer" so every year I would select "Clown/Magician" as my occupation.  Figured I had a shot to maybe actually win that one...but apparently some other clown was faster.

It's not really fair now that I think about it; I mean they're wearing those big-ass shoes...

-B-

No training today.  Today is all about stretching and resting for tomorrow.  I'll go run some errands, go furniture shopping, meet a friend for a meal, but otherwise I'm working and relaxing and not training.  But the first questions are starting to trickle in so...

Great Aloha Run

So I've been considering my race plan for tomorrow.  It's pretty simple, really.  I'll probably aim for 11s for the first two miles and then try to be under 9:30 for the next 6.  Consistent with my successful plan last time I'll skip the first water station and probably only stop at one or two of them along the way.  Hopefully the entire race will only be a bit over an hour long and if I'm properly hydrated going in I shouldn't need a lot of additional hydration as I go.  Fortunately at least 2-3 miles of this race takes place under the viaduct, so cool conditions.  My PR at this race is actually 1:24 but I have it in the back of my mind that I could break 1:20 this year.  We'll see.

Questions and Acknowledgements

• JW - As always she wants to know what I'm going to wear for L.A..  I've already decided what shorts and socks (yes, socks) I'll wear.  Not as sure about the shoes or shirt.  For shirt I'll almost certainly go with something sleeveless.  Especially since the race starts at 8:15AM - curiously late in the day.  Hopefully it won't get too hot.
• MA - Thanks for your unending support.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate you.
• RR - Yes, I am still taping the toes when I run. I'll definitely have them taped tomorrow and will almost certainly tape them for marathon too.

O.K., enough for now.  Time to get on with my day...

-B-

So the other day my friend Denise (of course not) called me.  She was pretty upset - her boyfriend Dan (name changed to protect the guilty) had just broken up with her because she had the temerity to...be more stable.

In Stanley Kubrick's 1987 film "Full Metal Jacket" actor Adam Baldwin plays a character named "Animal Mother" who is a dim-witted, hostile, racist.  When we first meet him he tries to pick a fight with Matthew Modine's character.  One of the african-american soldiers intervenes and comments "Believe it or not under fire Animal Mother is one of the finest human beings you'll ever meet.  He just needs to find someone to throw hand grenades at him for the rest of his life."  And, in fact, we see that later in the film.  During battle Animal Mother leaps into the fray, even risking his own life to try and save his fellow soldiers including the same african-american colleagues he disparaged during times of rest.

The point here is that the chaos of battle brings out the best in Animal Mother, who is an otherwise fairly  despicable person.  Maybe the chaos gives him the freedom to succeed?

We all know those guys who thrive on chaotic situations.  Whether it's a flat tire on the side of the highway or Hurricane Katrina.  When things are normal they're unremarkable, even under-performing.  When there is chaos the rules tend to be suspended though, as are expectations, and that is sometimes just what they need to step up.

Back to Dan

Dan was exciting, adventurous, charming, unconventional.  He's a ski instructor and he has one or two little businesses of his own.  He's always busy and never has any money.  He manages his apartment building so he doesn't have to pay rent.  None of that is necessarily a problem I guess but he also doesn't like to make real plans.  He makes a big deal about how he doesn't care about the destination because he's all about "the journey".

He would talk vaguely about things for them to do next year, but couldn't be pinned down to make dinner plans for next Friday night.

Romantic or Just Hiding?

On the surface Dan seems like just a romantic "whisk off to Paris on a moment's notice" kinda guy.  But I suspect that he's actually a "I don't declare any goals so nobody notices when I fail" kinda guy.  If you don't have a destination you can't be blamed when you don't get there.

Maybe Chaos Man thrives because when the storm is raging nobody expects you to succeed.  When the flood waters are waist deep anything you achieve is great and nobody will fault you for coming short if you do.

It's one thing to be an adrenaline junkie.  We all know folks who want to climb mountains or bungee jump or do other exciting/crazy things.  Most of them have jobs and goals and accomplishments though.  Folks like Dan however are perpetually in chaos mode.  Why?

My theory is that if he doesn't make plans for next Friday then he can't be blamed for disappointing you.  If he's "all about the journey" then he can't be faulted for not reaching the destination.  Heck, just walking in a circle around the room can be described as a "journey" but you really haven't gotten anywhere.   Disclaiming any interest in the destination is like saying you don't care about winning a game.  When you lose you weren't trying.  Maybe he's just afraid to have his weaknesses exposed?

Denise Shows Him Up?

When Denise changed from being a freelancer to having a stable job she moved up professionally.  She achieved a goal.  She succeeded.  What that tends to do, in Dan's eyes, is shine a light on Dan's predicament.  How is it that she has a steady paycheck, benefits, rewarding work, professional respect while he is still muddling about, never having a dime to his name?  Dan can't succeed because there is so much chaos.  But Denise just succeeded. 

Hey, maybe he really is just some free-spirit who finds rules, and money, too limiting.  Or maybe he finds creating expectations too frightening.

If you really want a man who never gets anywhere and who avoids disappointing you by trying hard not to create any expectations, then Dan's the guy for you.  Don't be surprised if one of those destinations he isn't interested in (or is afraid of) is the altar though.

My First Online Question!

In response to my posting about how a man who loves you will say so in front of your friends "Sarah" (you guessed it, not her real name) said that she thinks the the guy she's dating loves her but he just won't ever say it.

Sarah, this is just my opinion but, if a real man truly loves you, he will look you in the eyes and tell you so.  Not only will he do it, but he will WANT to do it.  Believe me, if I could I would go to the woman I love, take both her hands in mine, look her right in the eyes and tell her I love her.  I'd do it right this minute if I could.  I'd tell her in every language.

If your man can't (or won't) do that then either he doesn't really love you (at least not yet) or he's got some issues that prevent him from expressing himself.  If everything else in the relationship is great and he treats you well then I'd say give it some time.  But when he truly loves you a real man will not want to wait 5 more seconds to look you in the eyes and tell you so.

-B-

Today was the day.

Before every big race I do there comes a day when my engine starts.  The day when I just want to pound my chest and say "Let's do this!  Let's light this candle!"  From that moment, from that day I am focused on the race, I am enthusiastic, I've got the adrenaline going.  I'm ready to lace up and get it.  Today was the day.

Started my day a little later than expected.  One of my longest-standing friends called from the mainland first thing in the morning - she was in pain due to the ending of a relationship she had very high hopes for and needed a friendly ear and a shoulder.  I spent some time on the phone with her and after the call we both felt a lot better.

Then I laced up my shoes, and hit the road.  I had gone to bed the night before expecting to do 10 today, but due to the late hour I wasn't going to.  That was actually for the best - Great Aloha Run is Monday morning and it's silly for me to push too hard right now.  I settled for doing 7.5 today.  Today was the day.

I headed out the door, got to Kaipu Street and started to run.  Slowly at first, loosening up and warming up.  Made my right turn into the neighorhood, then a left, then a right onto Kapolei Parkway.  That's when it hit me.  The sunlight, the breeze, my pace quickening, my pulse quickening.  Today was the day.

I strode up Kapolei Parkway, running easily in the low 9-minute range and exchanging friendly greetings with the surprising number of my neighbors who were out for jogs, walks, enjoying the company of their kids, dogs, significant others (sometimes all of the above).  Up past my usual turn, past the baseball field where the little league game was going on, past the grass field where a couple of guys were flying remote controlled airplanes on this lovely Saturday morning.  I made the right turn onto Renton Road and felt like pumping my fist into the air.  TODAY was the day!

When these days come I want to get home, pack my stuff, and go to the airport. I want to get the race started NOW.  I feel ready.  And that's a heck of an exciting feeling considering how tough I had it on my Wednesday run.  Wednesday night I was second-guessing a LOT.  "Gosh, if 16.5 is this hard, how am I going to get thru 26.2?!"  It was the end of a long day, I only got a few hours sleep the night before, I didn't have my nutrition right, new shoes, no crowds, too much on my mind...I ran through all of the rationalizations.  But today I knew I was ready.  Today was the day.

I felt so good I was tempted to take a detour on Kolowaka, turn down into my old neighborhood and maybe add a couple of miles.  Maybe I really would do 10 today!  But no...saner heads prevailed.  I want to feel this strong on Monday morning too...see if I can PR the Great Aloha Run.  That would be a nice confidence booster, especially on two broken toes, going into L.A.

I ran all the way back home, feeling good, feeling strong.  Ran the last .2 down the driveway at 90% of full speed, enjoying a little finishing kick.  I was a sprinter in high school and I always take a little special enjoyment in that finishing dash at the end of a race.

After the run, I showered, and headed off to the Health & Fitness Expo to pick up my Great Aloha Run packet and spend some time helping Brian out at his booth.  I'll blog that separately, but while I was there I spent some time chatting with Richard and Chet -- two friends who have done L.A. in the past. Chet was telling me how great the crowd support is.  Richard had nearly half an hour of useful and interesting intelligence about the race.  He stayed at the same hotel I'm booked at ("PERFECT!" he said with a grin), the Expo is HUGE and busy for packet pickup, he hadn't expected how much downhill there was....and 24 more minutes of info that I gladly accepted.

I'm now officially fired up L.A.  TODAY was the day.  Bring me that finish line!

-B-

Some of my good friends know that I have an interest in song lyrics - I like lyrics that I find clever, poignant or just personally relevant.  I've posted a few of them on my Facebook page but I thought maybe I'd share a couple here too.  So here's today's...it's from Incubus:

Everyone has a weakness
Some of ours are easy to identify
Look me in the eyes
And ask for forgiveness
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
We all have someone who digs at us.

(Yes, I know I omitted a line there, it works better for me that way)

I'm not really sure what struck me about that particular verse (and the first line of the chorus) though I suppose I could offer a good guess if I had to.  A recurring theme in my thoughts these days is around directness and honesty.  I can't help but wonder why people are surprised when I look them in the eyes and tell them the truth - is it THAT rare for people to do that these days?  I recognize that I've been guilty of not always doing that in the past, but I've realized how much I value that quality in others and so it's a quality that I've committed myself to as well.  I think maybe I'm just reaching a point in my life where I'm weary of games and people who can't (or won't) say what they mean and mean what they say.

This is one of those lyrics that is more effective in the context of the song - sung and with the musical accompaniment - as opposed to just read or written as prose.  It's from the song "Dig", readily available on iTunes or probably in rotation on your local Incubus-style radio station.

-B-